Control Group Humorist Pillows

'Well, I guess we're the control group.'

Ethics exam cheater.

"These are my fish cymbalta, otezla, skyrizi, vraylar and stelara!"

"I was just finishing up some spring cleaning."

"Just how long has there been a maraschino cherry at the top of the organizational chart?"

'One placebo or two, doctor?'

"Hi, my name is Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "And I have a drinking problem." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph."

'And then the bad man from the Securities and Exchange Commission and I'll huff, and I'll puff, and I'll blow your house down!'

"I thought an illogical framework would work better."

At the McWit Eye Labs are two doors, 'Control Group' and 'Out of Control Group.'

"I'm sorry, but it's just not going to work out between us. We're contraindicated."

Document Filing in the Post-Literate Era.

Three-way mirror

Dion hires an image consultant: Ineresting. Now let's try Western and then Hip-Hop.

"Would you consider selling me the TV and movie rights to what you just told me?"

Acme Poultry Personnel. We don't really have an organization chart. It's more of a pecking order.

"So it's agreed then. From now on we're to do our hourse trading in partially smoke-filled rooms."

Egomaniacs Anonymous - "There's nothing anonymous about me!"

Can you do it so my eyes follow everyone around the boardroom?

'Side effects may include loss of appetite, job, home and family.'

'Only way I can get people in on a Sunday.'

"I'll get my people to arrange a meeting with your people, so they can talk about trying to get us to meet again."

"I suggest you take these pills on an empty stomach."

"Your report card says you don't interact well with other medications."

"May I suggest we up your medication, sire.

"Unsticky notes test #17 success!"

'The trouble started when the world put together a large group of synchronized banks.'

"I want a large pepperoni, pronto! And don't be stingy with the cheese. No anchovies! If I find one anchovy, I'll have your head on a pole. . ."

"Hello, everyone. My name is Mittens, and I'm addicted to catnip."

To Do List: Invent Smaller Post-It Notes.

Breathe-aholics Anonymous: 'Hi, my name is Glen, and I've been clean and sober for over one minute.'

Maybe that's the point. You have to rip it into little pieces to get it in the box.

Cheeky Devil and Thief LTD

"Management is about delegation, so I'm delegating you to sack yourself."

Prison Vacation For Mafiosi