Support Group Humorists Pillows

"Hello, everyone. My name is Mittens, and I'm addicted to catnip."

'...I already have 26 cats, why not 27...'

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

"Barking sometimes helps me relax. But then it drives the neighbors crazy."

'The problem is, she's so damn crabby.'

"Instead of years of therapy, I decided to go for chocolate."

"I keep on getting these feelings of love, peace and empathy..."

'That reminds me of the blind date I had last weekend!'

'It's been years since she sang my praises.'

Day for day i feel more and more empty.

"You're completely screwed up."

Roland, the schizophrenic cowboy.

"As soon as your dentist gets here, we'll begin."

"How long have I had what problem?"

"Maybe what she really wants you to do is rub her tummy."

"When all else fails, blow darts still get their attention."

"No, I don't think you have 'multiple personality disorder'. In fact, I don't think you have a personality at all."

"I'm a glass-half-empty and I'm leaking."

Computer help.

'I'm very confused. I never had a father. I was raised by two mummies.'

"Your therapy will be a combination of drugs and clowns."

"I did seize the day. But then it seized me right back and used some kind of jujitsu move to flip me on my ass."

'Lately my business instincts and intuitions have been on opposing sides.'

A mental-health spot quiz, Al: "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single … Google search of travel websites"?

I think I have a gilt complex.

"Hi, my name is Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "And I have a drinking problem." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph."

Unsmiley face at the psychiatrist...

'Anybody who has a life, gets more work.'

"Dr. Livingstone will see you now."

"My brother is always trying to one-up me. As soon as I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder he said he had tripolar disorder."

Woman on psychiatrists couch talking to statue in art museum.

'He's a blight on the whole neighbourhood.'

Dog in therapy.

"Siri, are Charlie’s parents to blame for his neurosis?"

'This is going to be the best day ever!'