Support Group Satirist Pillows

Consultants anonymous

"Hi, I'm Jeff and I'm not an alcoholic, but I wondered if you had heard about some of the fantastic beers we have to offer at Marsham's Brewery..."

'Welcome to the first meeting of 'ugly ducklings anonymous'. And just let me begin, by dispelling any crazy ideas you may have about growing up to be swans.'

Occu-Pie Mars

"The good news is that we do have a little wiggle room."

'He takes his organization chart seriously.'

'Don't bite. They're trolling again.'

"I just wish the Earth was as beautiful to live on as it is to look at... It's right behind me, isn't it?"

'Tell your boss we represent an independent watchdog committee.'

"Of course, the actual honey is all made overseas."

Boring Board Meeting

"All those in favor of eroticizing our annual report 'aye.'"

"Paper or plastic?"

"Morning, sir. We've received reports that you've been wielding an inappropriate attitude without a permit."

"OK, well, if you do hear anything, be sure to give us a call."

"Hi, my name is Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "And I have a drinking problem." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph."

"Well, we can kiss being free-range goodbye."

"Well of COURSE it's mostly gobble-dee-gook! Were you expecting something different?"

'Actually, we don't like the term 'cannibal', we prefer to be called 'homovores'.'

"So, colony collapse disorder - how funny is it?"

War of Words

'Your Majesty, the peasants are out of bread', 'Then let them eat low-carb stuff,'

"Make it look like an accident"

'Blair picks safe poet caureate' "He was just giong through the motions"

"Religion, politics, sex...in this part of the world every cartoonist is free to draw whatever he wants!"

Rosemary's Baby Supplies

'So what do we have here?' - dart board says, Take the Day Off, Ignore the Loser,Do What the Goof Says, and Act Interested.

Man asking what is a stall at the opera

'So, I take it that diversity isn't a priority?'

'You're free to go. Another suspect matching the description of having big ears and a trunk has just been arrested for the circus stampede.'