Satirical Supporter Pillows

'I was caught jogging past an Olympics sponsor's fat and sugar outlet.'

Jeb Can Ficks It

EU money addiction

"Are we going to let this cartoonist continue to foul our environment by being so careless with his ink?"

"I'm going out to buy toilet rolls. . . I may be some time."

"Lori, go ahead and toss in 'Lolita.' Now, what's next?" "We'll need more lighter fluid." "'The Lottery' is devils work." "We must protect the children." "Book burning club"

'Don't bite. They're trolling again.'

'Tell your boss we represent an independent watchdog committee.'

"What do you mean blood sucking pest? You're the one who invited me into your life!"

"I just wish the Earth was as beautiful to live on as it is to look at... It's right behind me, isn't it?"

"True, a salary cap on Wall Street may limit the talent pool, but, on the other hand, if they get any more talented we'll all be broke."

'As you can see,we run a completely paperless office.'

What happened when the bond issues failed during the building of the Great Wall of China: The Great Picket Fence of China.

World Food Summit - No food and drink allowed in the auditorium.

Athens Playhouse. Euclid is rehearsing a play he wrote about lust, money and lies. Investment Sales Office. Don't be obtuse! Face each other from this angle! He's a tough director. It's surprising that Euclid, the father of geometry, wrote about passion, money and deceit. I thought so too, until I read the script. It's a story about a pyramid scheme and a love triangle!

"Of course, the actual honey is all made overseas."

"I'm a common dolphin, I swim the west coast of Scotland foraging for fish and squid."

"I liked it better when it was 'don't ask, don't tell the New York Times'."

The Family Joules: Part 3

"We did our best for your husband but his poor old health insurance was too weak..."

"I work smart, instead of hard. You do all the work and I take all the credit."

Militant Pacifists

"Paper or plastic?"

"OK, well, if you do hear anything, be sure to give us a call."

Party-Crashing Ban

"Cartoonist are harmless? Not at all!! These people have weapons!! Here, see for yourself!"

Barman indicates sick bucket, alongside usual ice bucket, saying to attractive woman: 'That's there in case you hear any particularly bad chat-up lines.'

"You work for the family business, and I am your father, not the patriarchal oppressor..."

"Or we could turn on the TV and let younger, more beautiful people have sex for us."

'Not only can I not find the middle class tax cut, I can't find the middle class.'

'This is a very dysfunctional company. No one will talk aboaut about the elephant in the boardroom!'

"Alright, fire me. But I'm taking back your "World's Greatest Boss" coffee mug!"

"My parents just raised my home school tuition."

Multiple personalities with blogs.

"Closing averages on the human scene were mixed today. Brotherly love was down two points, while enlightened self-interest gained a half. Vanity showed no movement, and guarded optimism slipped a point in sluggish trading. Over all, the status quo remained unchanged."