Society Humorist Pillows

'They say she's the toast of London society. More like crumpet!'

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

Indian rajah rowing elephant in a monsoon flood.

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

"Gee, thanks pal."

Welcome to Mauritius Home of the Dodo Burger

"Biff's old money, Angelo is new money and Boris is funny money."

"Wait, those crunchy, cheesy little fish thingies are free?!"

"Is it me, or is Jasper Johns a genius?" "Über-genius, Larry. Über!"

"This cruise is getting a very stern review from me, I can tell you."

Non-Creative Writing, Also Known as Plagiarism 101.

'Your fur looks like you slept in it.'

"I see the White House didn't lower the flag to half staff."

'Mr. Dunbarter, your fantasy that 'greed is good' may be a case of economic insanity.'

'I don't think the employees like me.'

"That's not a knife crime initiative. That's a knife crime initiative!"

"So, like, don't make any big plans for this weekend."

'He doesn't like people walking in - try crawling.'

Horse statue throws off rider.

"I'm starting my own movement—Occupy Fifty-Seventh Street."

'Sure, I'm a working mother - is there any other kind?'

Department of No One Could Have Anticipated

Looks Like They're Finally Renovating The Toilet

"I swear, Mr. Drumpf, I meant it in the best sense of the word." "Mr. Drumpf is a moron."

German School

"You can't offend me. I never mix religion or politics with reality."

"Ma'am, you don't have an ant problem. They're coffee grounds."

Man with dollar sign on his t-shirt.

The Ladies Who Lurch.

Plight of Decent-White-Male-Middle Class Scapgoats.

Bank P45's - 'Cashier number 5 please.'

"I've thought about retiring, but there's a great deal of gravity under this chair."

The Evolution Of Man

I know it seems a bit misplaced, but it does pay all the wedding expenses !'

Harris, our Annual Report has been criticised for lack of clarity - well done.