Societal Humorist Pillows

"He failed at hunting, and gathering was beneath him."

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

Indian rajah rowing elephant in a monsoon flood.

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

"Gee, thanks pal."

'Yes, all at once!'

"It was a holiday I'll never forget...I saw life in the raw!"

"Yes, one is a dog."

"Wait, those crunchy, cheesy little fish thingies are free?!"

"Is it me, or is Jasper Johns a genius?" "Über-genius, Larry. Über!"

Welcome to Mauritius Home of the Dodo Burger

"This cruise is getting a very stern review from me, I can tell you."

The prying mantis,

Non-Creative Writing, Also Known as Plagiarism 101.

Begin this high fiber diet slowly. Too fast and your co-workers may complain of a greenhouse effect.

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

'He doesn't like people walking in - try crawling.'

'I don't think the employees like me.'

"That's not a knife crime initiative. That's a knife crime initiative!"

'Mr. Dunbarter, your fantasy that 'greed is good' may be a case of economic insanity.'

"So, like, don't make any big plans for this weekend."

"I see the White House didn't lower the flag to half staff."

Horse statue throws off rider.

"I'm starting my own movement—Occupy Fifty-Seventh Street."

"I swear, Mr. Drumpf, I meant it in the best sense of the word." "Mr. Drumpf is a moron."

Department of No One Could Have Anticipated

"Fangul." Italian sausage.

Looks Like They're Finally Renovating The Toilet

German School

"I'm after the history section."

Plight of Decent-White-Male-Middle Class Scapgoats.

"You can't offend me. I never mix religion or politics with reality."

Bank P45's - 'Cashier number 5 please.'

"Adorable. Is yours a rescue too?"