Societal Humor Lover Pillows

"Why wasn't I adopted by a middle-class family in the suburbs?"

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

Crap from the future.

"Brian's fine. He`s got his own coping mechanism."

"Wait, those crunchy, cheesy little fish thingies are free?!"

"Despite thoroughly scraping the celebrity barrel, that Orwellian nightmare Celebrity Big Brother is back on our screens again."

The Vicar 's Invitation to Dinner.

The Monroe Doctrine

Honest Voting Stickers

"Ah...summer...and umbrellas as far as you can see...it reminds me of England!"

"The way you look at me, Craig... you really see me."

'Henry was an undecided voter four years ago when he entered that voting booth, and I'm still waiting for him to decide and come home.'

"I'd have been here sooner if it hadn't been for early detection."

'No, you weren't there. But in your expert opinion as a certified brainiac, do you think he did it?'

Before disposing of useless information please make file copies.

'Right now I'm counting the blessings that we owe to Uncle Sam.'

Think tanks.

Evil Henchman Gets a Promotion.

Suggestions and Cheap Shots.

'So, ten thousand pounds could be yours if you call in and answer this question...Why the hell aren't you in bed?!'

Our large economy size packet hasn't been selling...it's too big to carry home.

"Bad news. Our heads aren't lightbulbs."

National Liberty and Tax Codes.

"I always wondered who got my transplant."

"It's not so much a minivan as it is a hearse for our youth."

'For donating half my property to the poor, I'll get the 'Unselfish Millionaire of the Year' medal and a supporting receipt for my allowable expenses!'

Police Lineup Escape

"Six hundred Starbucks closing? Really? Is that on the East Side or West Side?"

"Welcome to Alabama. Pro-life at birth; not so much after that."

Traders joining Wall Street protests

Euro Collapse

"I don't know what that is, either - it could be the Olsen twins."

'Escape?...Why?'