Society Satirists Pillows

"I'm sorry, but there is no more fast lane. We all live on the median now."

'So, I take it that diversity isn't a priority?'

Garrick club. Men's men only.

'Yes, Sir Henry is old money, but only because he never spends any of it!'

"Okay, how about some people are poverty rich but asset poor?"

"I gave him a public education Artie ol' boy. . . you should know by now that government schools are one of my best minion corporations!"

"Don't tell them you're a charity worker, they wouldn't touch you with a bargepole. . . tell them you're a banker or something."

"As a prepper I've taken precautions and can survive for weeks in case of disaster."

Occu-Pie Mars

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

"Biff's old money, Angelo is new money and Boris is funny money."

"Here's something called "The Fifty Greatest Countdown Shows Ever!""

The prying mantis,

"Yes, one is a dog."

"It was a holiday I'll never forget...I saw life in the raw!"

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

Begin this high fiber diet slowly. Too fast and your co-workers may complain of a greenhouse effect.

"Well there's no way I'm going to say 'whom'!"

Horse statue throws off rider.

'Sure, I'm a working mother - is there any other kind?'

Department of No One Could Have Anticipated

"Adorable. Is yours a rescue too?"

"I'm after the history section."

Inhospitality tent.

"Pat's independently wealthy and dependably entertaining."

"Congratulations! It's a pass."

"God help us, it's that guy."

"These 'ordinary working class' types, I think my scout at Oxford must have been one."

"Morning, sir. We've received reports that you've been wielding an inappropriate attitude without a permit."

Shawn considered himself a vegetarian by proxy.

"It keeps me from looking at my phone every two seconds."

Illustration on the problem of money that is given to charities ending up in the hands of governments.

"Remember, we're not just making money. We're building prisons."

'Blair picks safe poet caureate' "He was just giong through the motions"

War of Words