Satirical Humorist Pillows

Utopia - a necessarily restrictive and conformist social structure.

The Evolution Of Man

"Of course it's an egg...but it's a chicken to those of us with vision..."

"No Shakespeare, yet. But, they are churning out ten drug names a week."

"With these credit default swaps, I never know whose legs I'm supposed to break."

'Are you in their internship program, as well?2

I know it seems a bit misplaced, but it does pay all the wedding expenses !'

Man at Optometrists and reading an eye chart that spells out 'PAY ME WHAT YOU OWE ME',

"The system's not perfect, but, by God, it's transparent."

"Is 'oblivious' the same as' undecided'?"

"Timing is everything. I recommend that you act now before the authorities discover I've escaped."

"I was at a high-powered investment firm for seven years and a high-powered penal institution for a year and a half."

"We did it, we found the nonprofit fountain of funding."

'It's not much of a business plan.'

'Oh, that place...? we shut that down AGES ago!'

It was hard to put a price on progress. Real hard without a calculator.

"Brodman, after giving it much thought, I've decided to let you go for no apparent reason."

'We're foreclosing on your intellectual property.'

Harris, our Annual Report has been criticised for lack of clarity - well done.

"I'm starting my own movement—Occupy Fifty-Seventh Street."

Non-Creative Writing, Also Known as Plagiarism 101.

'It's the most expensive commodity I could find...a printer ink cartridge.'

"Look, I have my misgivings, too, but what choice do we have except to stay the course?"

Man on desert island - 'I'll hold.'

"Latest in computerised cash management."

Robinson Crusoe..."Daniel we love the idea but have you thought of adding a few more characters,maybe half a dozen celebrities who all want out!"

"Because I'm worth it"

"Every time we need our no-show guy, he's not here."

Will work for genetically altered food.

'We're really the same, me and you. Same manufacturer even.'

"I've come up with our new logo, JB."

Trump and Kim Jong-un

The salary was terrific, but something about Sally's new job made her very uneasy.

' ... and, finally, your contract allows you five minutes on Valentine's day to smell the roses.'

"You worry too much. Next time something goes wrong, try blaming someone else."