Continent Comedian Gifts

'Are you paying attention Eurasia?' 'Sorry, I was drifting.'

You Are Here

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

"How come we never have 'Baked Alaska'?"

"At least, everybody's agreed about the next summit's name!"

'Harold, I told you to take out the trash!'

Icebergs talk about CNN appearance and looking thin on TV.

"It looks like it's an eye bank."

"We don't have knock-knock jokes on Christmas."

"Honey! A Jewish starfish!"

"Mum? are you sure thers's such thing as global warming, coz I'm bloody freezing."

"The next time you have an 'emergency', have it on the roof like every other self-respecting bird!"

'Who turned up the thermostat?'

'Hello, this is your captain speaking... I'm on the next flight!'

"Road construction used to bother me. But compared to all the craziness going on in the world, I'll take this any day."

'The mountains were too cold for me you see, so I thought: People lost in the desert could need my skills too...'

Eat your salad. Blurg! Now! Quick! Put it into my bag! Finito. Mother! You've started up your compost pile, haven't you? You make it sound so rotten!

"The bailouts are nice but my retirement remains finding drugs that washed up on the beach."

Beep' 'beep' 'beep' 'beep'' - 'Slam!' - 'Great... another long week of pain and humiliation ahead...' - ''Click'' - 'God, Ilove my job.' - '' -

Things Women Never Say: 'Sorry I'm late boss. I was talking to my husband and he wouldn't stop listening.'

Riding instructor waits to fish a child out of jumping obstacle.

'What's Iggy doing home from school at this time of day?'

US Winter Weather Map.

Looking at You Are Here Map "How do they know?"

Need to turn up heat(fish crowd heater in aquirium).

Welcome to the North Pole

Metrocard error messages

North America. South America. Greenland. Europe. Africa. Asia. India. Have you notices that North America, South America, Greenland, Africa and India are all pointed on the bottom? Yes - that's continental drip.

Keister Island

65. Whenever I'm in the mood to watch the rest of the world go by, I simply keep to the legal speed limit.

La Tour 2007.

M&S goes green - Carbon Neutralising Underpants.

'We've only cut our CO2 emissions to piss off the utilities companies.'

Canadian wildfires

Chugalugs Ice Cream (Out of Business) Coming Soon: Chuglalugs Hot Chocolate