Consumer Safety Advocate Pillows

Once upon a time, lead poisoning meant someone who got shot down. Today it means someone who touched a toy made in China.

Sen. Krupt. I don't tell constituents that we're fueling inflation. I say we're protecting consumers and thanks to us they won't have to worry about buying any cheap stuff.

Clyde thought “Atomic Sparklers” was just an ad gimmick

Pool attached to child's bed.

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

"Honey, you're spoiling that child."

Man using to much bug spray

"He's the chief watchdog, who watches over all the other watchdogs—but this must be his night off."

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

"Getting the hang of it?"

"Careful."

Squash Courts - "Insurance anyone"

"Not much in the way of loot, but we got a ton of store credit."

"I told him not to rely on his GPS whe out running!"

'In my day, we didn't concern ourselves with wimpy notions of workplace ergonomics.'

'Okay, the motorized rocking chair could use an emergency off switch.'

Gullib-Os

"You're right. I have to come up with a brake of some kind."

Man who has hailed a taxi finds the driver is a crash test dummy.

The first 10,000 fans got a concussion bobblehead!

Boozing and Cruising

Knights Wing Mirrors.

Under Capitalism, Expensive Equipment is Always, Unlike People, Innocent Until Proven Guilty

'We want more police on our streets!' 'WHAT?! Do you have any idea how dangerous it is out there?'

STRIP Hambone: Expensive repair job

Kangaroo: Baby on Board

'Okay - who removed Jessica's sunhat..?'

'... Further to our telephone conversation of the 3rd, my fax of the 11th, my letters of the 16th, 23rd and 28th, my emails of....'

'Knowledge is the ultimate weapon. Next!'

Model employee reads 'Best Practice' document ... scruffy slob reads 'Worst Practice', with messy desk and dangerous wires.

Speeding Forklift

"That's why safety boots are so important. . . you see? Eddie's feet have stayed perfectly dry."

'This is a new electronic child-proof cap. If you can pronounce the drug's name, it opens.'

"You know you have to wait an hour after eating before getting out of the water, young man!"

'If you ask me, toys are getting far too realistic!'