Consumer Awareness Advocate Pillows

Gullib-Os

Sen. Krupt. I don't tell constituents that we're fueling inflation. I say we're protecting consumers and thanks to us they won't have to worry about buying any cheap stuff.

Clyde thought “Atomic Sparklers” was just an ad gimmick

"He's the chief watchdog, who watches over all the other watchdogs—but this must be his night off."

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

"L.L. Bean slippers... $25.00 Ambulance ride to hospital... $500.00 X-rays of spine... $350.00 Three refills of hydrocodone... priceless!"

"This isn't helping my migraine."

Our college is tuned to the students' every need! Campus Visits. We have body image awareness week. Safe sex awareness week. Bullying, drug use and tolerance awareness weeks. What did I miss? Welcome. History, math or English awareness week? Great idea. I'll suggest that.

"Not much in the way of loot, but we got a ton of store credit."

Getting to the ER saved my life...early retirement.

'You're not retaining water. You're retaining cookies and ice cream and pizza...'

CATCHY NAME

This week is obscure charity awareness week.

Scientific Research: 'Uh...why'd it take'em 20 yeahs t' figyah that out?'

STRIP Hambone: Expensive repair job

'... Further to our telephone conversation of the 3rd, my fax of the 11th, my letters of the 16th, 23rd and 28th, my emails of....'

Consumer Protection Agency/Manufacturer Protection Agency

Bubbling

Mixed Nuts (but mostly peanuts)

'I'm getting a head start for Movember.'

'Sir, there's a taxpayer who knows his rights, to see you.'

'Do you sell eggs? . . . I forgot to say that I have middle class guilt. . .'

Big oil.

National #@*&%!$@? Tourettes Institute *&%!$

'So Chief Executive how can you justify this new increase in gas prices?'

Sewer Rats

"In some ways it'll be a relief when the obesity time-bomb does finally go off."

'Reinventing myself.'

"Here's a bunch of money. We need you to save America...as we know it."

"Rest assured, we will be working hard to stop the onslaught of scammers and the scourge of robocalls..."

'OK, who wants to be a hero?'

'I said my hormones are playing up again! Why don't you pay attention?'

"I must be getting old, my feet hurt even before I get out of bed in the morning!"

"This banana I bought yesterday, when I peeled it it was empty!"