Consumer Protection Advocate Pillows

"You want the extended warranty for this disposal razor."

Sen. Krupt. I don't tell constituents that we're fueling inflation. I say we're protecting consumers and thanks to us they won't have to worry about buying any cheap stuff.

The Anti-Agent

"Too crowded. Let's go."

Clyde thought “Atomic Sparklers” was just an ad gimmick

"One more time, Mr Claus - who sold you the data?"

The Circular Logic of Fascism

"They didn't want to be identified in my photo, so I blurred their butts."

"He's the chief watchdog, who watches over all the other watchdogs—but this must be his night off."

"I just found a unicorn! Apparently, they just want to be left alone."

March Against Big Tech: "Oh, wow, this has bee great for my step count!"

"Before I do this, I would ask everyone to please delete the footage in the event of this not going as planned."

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

Statue of Liberty with satellite dish and laptop spying on the World.

"We-your agents, successors, licensees, and assigns--would like to share a few thoughts with you."

"You work well without supervision? Fat chance of that happening in here!"

"I was going to have my people call his people, but I’m pretty sure his people have Caller I.D."

'Hey, what happened to my cookies?'

"Yes, I'm alone."

Police Statetion

"I've added an additional response to the doc's health questionnaire. It's called 'Mind Your Own Business.'"

"Don't deny it. You only wanted me for my metadata."

'To hear our privacy policy, please tell us you credit card and social security numbers...'

'It's a program on paranoia. Every time I leave the room, they stop and wait for me to come back.'

"Not much in the way of loot, but we got a ton of store credit."

'Boy, being an endangered species is quite hard: I get weighed, tagged, filmed, recorded and studied by scientists: I have no privacy...'

"It's a beautiful day. I should go for a walk. . . Oh, now my neighbors are all out there."

The Best Defense

"Turn on the news." "I will not comply." "My analysis of your viewing patterns has determined you will grow depressed after the lead story." "There is a 95% probability you will then gorge yourself on rocky road ice cream and then stay up all night googling elliptical machines and diet pills." "Who told you this?" "Both your refrigerator and your browser are gossipy."

CCTV in church.

Privacy

Gullib-Os

"We've updated our privacy policy...it's so private we can't even tell you."

We've already got one. A hidden microphone in the staff coffee area.

Man in hospital bed, along with ECG, mmHg, being monitored is also NSA.