Consumer Protection Lawyer Pillows

'What - it's the third time your gun hasn't worked?! Here, take may card - I'm Wayne Poborsky, consumer protection lawyer!'

Clyde thought “Atomic Sparklers” was just an ad gimmick

"He's the chief watchdog, who watches over all the other watchdogs—but this must be his night off."

Excess Baggage: Fans of 'Deregulation' and the 'Free Market' probably have not had to buy a plane ticket recently.

"Not much in the way of loot, but we got a ton of store credit."

'I'd like to return this shredder.'

"I want a refund on this computer. It's user hostile!"

Consumer Protection Agency/Manufacturer Protection Agency

'All these new regulations will totally alter the way we screw the consumer.'

"That last customer thinks I should fire you."

Big oil.

'So Chief Executive how can you justify this new increase in gas prices?'

'Do you sell eggs? . . . I forgot to say that I have middle class guilt. . .'

"He's refusing to pay the inflationary bits"

Contaminated eggs? No problem at all!

"...and I can assure you that our price increases will be more competitive than those of other providers."

"Rest assured, we will be working hard to stop the onslaught of scammers and the scourge of robocalls..."

"Here's a bunch of money. We need you to save America...as we know it."

"Since I'm not poor like you, I can afford to have scruples. . . I would never buy cheap clothes made with child labour."

Malls admit to using cell phones to track shoppers.

"This banana I bought yesterday, when I peeled it it was empty!"

Driving a Lemon.

B.B.C. Watchdog

"Invasion of privacy? You should be flattered we're so concerned about satisfying your consumer desires!"

'Which' Consumer Testing Whiskies

'Do you have poor credit? . . . Visit paydayloanshark.com for instant cash!'

While we watched the Trump circus... In the middle of the night the GOP controlled Congress took away your right to hold the big banks accountable when they rip you off!

"Wait a minute, that's my bar code" Product Identity Theft

'Looks like there's been another crackdown on truth in advertising regulations.'

"Your bill includes a 10% surcharge that goes towards raising awareness of the rampant overcharging in the legal fraternity."

'He says I was REALLY over charged!'