Consumer Protection Specialist Pillows

'I work for the Consumer Protection Agency...'

Sen. Krupt. I don't tell constituents that we're fueling inflation. I say we're protecting consumers and thanks to us they won't have to worry about buying any cheap stuff.

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

"Wild-caught, farm-raised, lab-grown, beach-found, or aquarium-harvested."

"He's the chief watchdog, who watches over all the other watchdogs—but this must be his night off."

"Not much in the way of loot, but we got a ton of store credit."

Mixed Nuts (but mostly peanuts)

Consumer Protection Agency/Manufacturer Protection Agency

"Could you spare a few minutes to give some feedback on your death experience?"

'What do I do for a living?? Isn't it obvious?'

'Do you sell eggs? . . . I forgot to say that I have middle class guilt. . .'

"That last customer thinks I should fire you."

Big oil.

'So Chief Executive how can you justify this new increase in gas prices?'

"How am I supposed to know what I want to complain about before you've even said anything?"

"Rest assured, we will be working hard to stop the onslaught of scammers and the scourge of robocalls..."

"Here's a bunch of money. We need you to save America...as we know it."

"I am in a buying mood, but I still can't afford to buy anything."

'I am stunned by the sophistication of our consumer research.'

"This banana I bought yesterday, when I peeled it it was empty!"

B.B.C. Watchdog

Driving a Lemon.

'Which' Consumer Testing Whiskies

'He says I was REALLY over charged!'

"Wait a minute, that's my bar code" Product Identity Theft

United Reputation

Roseanne4

Consumer Protection Act.

Autos. We can't keep these beauties on the lot! They sell that fast? No, they have defective parking brakes. Consumer Info.

'When I bought him, they told me that he was already fully grown!'

"I just found an app that does not let you feel bad for those exploited working for Apple in China and Indonesia!"

"Sure it's pure. Not as pure as what we supply to high-tech industry, but pure enough to drink."

"It appeals to pride, greed, lust, sloth and envy, but we're overlooking gluttony and avarice."

"I love your ideas Hoskins. . . I'm really glad I had them!"

Check out my new designer shades. $175? Mine look identical and I got 'em for $6 at the gas station. Identical? Ha! Hardly. Oh really? We'll see about that. Bring in the professional! Dear Reader, Today we introduce a new super hero: The Brand Name Differentiator! Using regular vision, he fearlessly saves everyday consumers. Hmm. Uh huh. I see. BD. Ordinary citizens, I declare a difference! Ah ha! these are more expensive. Oh, go stop a train with your face or something. Mr. Super-hero – are the