Consumer Protection Specialist Gifts

'I work for the Consumer Protection Agency...'

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

"Wild-caught, farm-raised, lab-grown, beach-found, or aquarium-harvested."

"He's the chief watchdog, who watches over all the other watchdogs—but this must be his night off."

"Not much in the way of loot, but we got a ton of store credit."

"Could you spare a few minutes to give some feedback on your death experience?"

Consumer Protection Agency/Manufacturer Protection Agency

'What do I do for a living?? Isn't it obvious?'

'So Chief Executive how can you justify this new increase in gas prices?'

Big oil.

'Do you sell eggs? . . . I forgot to say that I have middle class guilt. . .'

"That last customer thinks I should fire you."

"Rest assured, we will be working hard to stop the onslaught of scammers and the scourge of robocalls..."

"Here's a bunch of money. We need you to save America...as we know it."

"I am in a buying mood, but I still can't afford to buy anything."

"How am I supposed to know what I want to complain about before you've even said anything?"

'I am stunned by the sophistication of our consumer research.'

"This banana I bought yesterday, when I peeled it it was empty!"

B.B.C. Watchdog

Driving a Lemon.

'Which' Consumer Testing Whiskies

"Wait a minute, that's my bar code" Product Identity Theft

'He says I was REALLY over charged!'

Consumer Protection Act.

"It appeals to pride, greed, lust, sloth and envy, but we're overlooking gluttony and avarice."

"Sure it's pure. Not as pure as what we supply to high-tech industry, but pure enough to drink."

'When I bought him, they told me that he was already fully grown!'

"You want the extended warranty for this disposal razor."

"I love your ideas Hoskins. . . I'm really glad I had them!"