Consumer Protection Officer Gifts

'When I bought him, they told me that he was already fully grown!'

'Whoops - looks like another recall...'

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

'You'll like this, gang ? it's an 'eyes-only' list of 'shady-but-tolerated' loopholes allowed by the Securities and Exchange Commission.'

"I guess it's ethical. Let me run it through my 'Ethics Check' app."

'I've decided to step down as your CEO in order to spend more time in jail...'

"In the event of an actual S.E.C. investigation, legal representation will drop from the ceiling."

"He's the chief watchdog, who watches over all the other watchdogs—but this must be his night off."

"Does anyone know where we keep the unwritten rules?"

"We'd better watch Cranston. He looks like a whistleblower."

Lady Justice and Confidential Files

"I'll be honest... there are books by James Joyce that are easier to follow than these bad boys."

Money laundering - shows money flowing out of US vault.

Bernard Madhoff $50-billion Ponzi financial scheme.

"The date protection policy is all about access to information, and we all know information is POWER!"

'Don't laugh Ms. Newborn, but I want you to proof this for 'accuracy'.'

'The question is - to what level of data do we wish to stoop.'

AI Safety Officer

"I've added an additional response to the doc's health questionnaire. It's called 'Mind Your Own Business.'"

Panama Papers Scandal

"These are just the guidelines, the forms are in the truck outside!"

'Tell your boss we represent an independent watchdog committee.'

'Your proposal is written with clarity and conviction. Send it up to legal for obfuscation.'

The Corporate Trust: 'Since we have an agreement of transparency with the feds, I don't need to remind all of you that this meeting never happened.'

European Union Health and Safety Direcorate rules

"It's translated from French, so where it says 'Harvard Business School' it may mean 'jail.'"

'...And they're giving us sixty million years to get in compliance.'

"Everybody's impressed with how you can shred incriminating documents into one long strand."

Words that can result in employee litigation box.

"Absolutely, Senator, in my mind it was always my country first, and obscene profits second."

IRS Audit Section

'If executive bonuses are outlawed, only outlaws will have bonuses.'

Dr Ed Henderson demonstrates that it IS possible for someone to become too familiar with the safety rules.

The worker/the man who monitors the worker/the man who wrote the draft policy guidelines on how to monitor the man monitoring the worker.