Compliance Officers Gifts

The Corporate Trust: 'Since we have an agreement of transparency with the feds, I don't need to remind all of you that this meeting never happened.'

'How long do we have to get in compliance?'

See no evil...hear no evil..SEC wouldn't recognise evil if it came and sat on his face.

"Remember the good old days when it was a suggestion box?"

"Um...David, a word if we may."

"This is our new head of conflict resolution."

The classic 'large scale corporate raider' eventually, they end up catching themselves!!

'Our unofficial payments were within official guidelines.'

'Hidden between the lines of this year's report is the heartwarming tale of a tragically misunderstood company, a malicious attorney general, and the redemptive power of a generous campaign donation!'

"Glad to see you Hotchkins... Abernathy must have been the company embezzler!"

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

'You'll like this, gang ? it's an 'eyes-only' list of 'shady-but-tolerated' loopholes allowed by the Securities and Exchange Commission.'

"I guess it's ethical. Let me run it through my 'Ethics Check' app."

'I've decided to step down as your CEO in order to spend more time in jail...'

BBC - Crisis Management, Damage Control and Liability Supervision.

"In the event of an actual S.E.C. investigation, legal representation will drop from the ceiling."

"He's the chief watchdog, who watches over all the other watchdogs—but this must be his night off."

"Does anyone know where we keep the unwritten rules?"

Moses holds up new federal regulation guidelines.

"Of course it's a stupid sign, but you wouldn't believe how much money it brings in for city hall!"

"We'd better watch Cranston. He looks like a whistleblower."

Lady Justice and Confidential Files

"I'll be honest... there are books by James Joyce that are easier to follow than these bad boys."

Money laundering - shows money flowing out of US vault.

Bernard Madhoff $50-billion Ponzi financial scheme.

'The question is - to what level of data do we wish to stoop.'

'Don't laugh Ms. Newborn, but I want you to proof this for 'accuracy'.'

"The date protection policy is all about access to information, and we all know information is POWER!"

'Tell your boss we represent an independent watchdog committee.'

Marv was trying to teach Rufus how to be a REAL retriever.

"These are just the guidelines, the forms are in the truck outside!"

AI Safety Officer

Panama Papers Scandal

'Your proposal is written with clarity and conviction. Send it up to legal for obfuscation.'