Compliance Observer Gifts

'To become ONE with the Universe, you must first become COMPLIANT with the Universe!'

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

'You'll like this, gang ? it's an 'eyes-only' list of 'shady-but-tolerated' loopholes allowed by the Securities and Exchange Commission.'

"I guess it's ethical. Let me run it through my 'Ethics Check' app."

'I've decided to step down as your CEO in order to spend more time in jail...'

"In the event of an actual S.E.C. investigation, legal representation will drop from the ceiling."

"He's the chief watchdog, who watches over all the other watchdogs—but this must be his night off."

"Does anyone know where we keep the unwritten rules?"

"We'd better watch Cranston. He looks like a whistleblower."

'Chicken Farms - Pecking Order'

Lady Justice and Confidential Files

Manufacturing will take place in China...So what role does Europe have?...you borrow money to be the customer

"I'll be honest... there are books by James Joyce that are easier to follow than these bad boys."

Money laundering - shows money flowing out of US vault.

Bernard Madhoff $50-billion Ponzi financial scheme.

'The question is - to what level of data do we wish to stoop.'

"The date protection policy is all about access to information, and we all know information is POWER!"

'Don't laugh Ms. Newborn, but I want you to proof this for 'accuracy'.'

"These are just the guidelines, the forms are in the truck outside!"

Panama Papers Scandal

'I miss telling people they can't have a day off to be with their sick children!'

'Tell your boss we represent an independent watchdog committee.'

AI Safety Officer

'Your proposal is written with clarity and conviction. Send it up to legal for obfuscation.'

The Corporate Trust: 'Since we have an agreement of transparency with the feds, I don't need to remind all of you that this meeting never happened.'

European Union Health and Safety Direcorate rules

"It's translated from French, so where it says 'Harvard Business School' it may mean 'jail.'"

'...And they're giving us sixty million years to get in compliance.'

"Everybody's impressed with how you can shred incriminating documents into one long strand."

Words that can result in employee litigation box.

'If executive bonuses are outlawed, only outlaws will have bonuses.'