Infidelity Observer Gifts

"You, You, You. Why is it always about you?"

"Pregnant!... How did that happen? We took precautions, like not having sex!"

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

Donald Trump Playing Golf With Hair On Fire

'Look at that! Peanuts!'

'Is that 'forsaking all others' bit compulsory?'

"Pastor, may we share a message with you about humility?"

"And what do you think of the government's record on housing?"

How many workers does it take to put up a Christmas decoration?

We Sell Chinese Stocks - Management is not responsible of you feel greedy again in an hour.

"Oh, no, no, no, no! Please, NOOO!"

"Again, I must remind the witness that he is under oath!"

'To become ONE with the Universe, you must first become COMPLIANT with the Universe!'

"You will not gain any sympathy from this court by offering to give one-tenth of your haul to the Church."

"If I could choose any age I'd be forty-two again. You were hot when I was forty-two."

"Forgive me Father, I'm about to sin."

'I admire your persistence, Melvin, but I'm in love with another woman.'

"Why, it's Daphne—home from Foxcroft."

Iraq War inquiry denied secret Bush-Blair documents.

"You're grinding your teeth again."

"Believe me, Alice, you didn't miss a thing. It wasn't even a party—it was a positioning event."

"This memo from upstairs says we can torture the accounting people."

"Please do not feed the animals." "Please do not eat the people."

People in street, "Ooh doesn't he take after his dad"

The artist

"I've been to all his weddings."

"Doc, I'm secretly worried if you improve my girlfriend's vision prescription she'll dump me when she gets her new glasses!"

"Don't play innocent with me lucky. . . I saw you sniffing around that hussy Irish setter!"

"When he stopped to smell the flowers, his wife found out whose flowers they were!"

Economic Crisis

'You have 'Washington D.C. Wrist,' Senator. It's a repetitive-stress injury caused by careless, under-the-table handling of cash-stuffed envelopes!'

"I would imagine it'll be something in Latin."

Senator Krupt has a frame on his wall containing his first bribe.

Displaying Christian symbol deemed offensive.

"A MacArthur, the lecture circuit, and thou!"