Regulatory Compliance Officer Gifts

May or May not be Hazardous Material...

'We like to greet our Regulatory Compliance hires with one word - help.'

'When is it due Diligence?'

'Thank goodness the FDA now requires us to number each grape. We were almost caught up around here.'

'My only regret is not waiting for deregulation.'

"We need warning stickers on this side warning not to ignore all the other warning stickers on the other side."

"I hate to blow the place up, but it's way out of compliance with Galactic standards."

Welsh water sewage

"This is 'Emissions Control' to VW...Looks like you're in for a rough ride...!"

'Orville, you know smoking isn't allowed on planes. No wonder we've had problems getting this crate up in the air.'

Smoky Factory

If the Wright Bros were woking today, government regulations would require them to provide a restroom aboard.

Volkswagen Scandal

"We can longer be deceptive and misleading any more. We can be either deceptive or misleading, but not both."

Pollution Look

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

'You'll like this, gang ? it's an 'eyes-only' list of 'shady-but-tolerated' loopholes allowed by the Securities and Exchange Commission.'

"I guess it's ethical. Let me run it through my 'Ethics Check' app."

'I've decided to step down as your CEO in order to spend more time in jail...'

BBC - Crisis Management, Damage Control and Liability Supervision.

"In the event of an actual S.E.C. investigation, legal representation will drop from the ceiling."

"He's the chief watchdog, who watches over all the other watchdogs—but this must be his night off."

'A problem with the Phase II trials. Everyone - all the people - was given the placebo, and no one got the drug.'

'In a nutshell, foods are drugged and drugs are eaten like food.'

US v.s. Tech Giants

"Does anyone know where we keep the unwritten rules?"

"Of course it's a stupid sign, but you wouldn't believe how much money it brings in for city hall!"

"We'd better watch Cranston. He looks like a whistleblower."

"Simplified application form? . . . This IS the simplified application form!"

Lady Justice and Confidential Files

"I'll be honest... there are books by James Joyce that are easier to follow than these bad boys."

Money laundering - shows money flowing out of US vault.

Bernard Madhoff $50-billion Ponzi financial scheme.

"The date protection policy is all about access to information, and we all know information is POWER!"