Regulatory Officer Gifts

'Unfortunately, the paper trail led to the shredder.'

'Back in the day, you could leverage . . .'

"Hi, I'm Hugo -- I'll be your compliance officer."

'We're with the Nuclear Regulatory Commission. Got a minute?'

'I'll serve your businessman's lunch, sir, as soon as the SEC's done examining it.'

'Have you got an Environmental Impact Statement for that castle, son?'

"And to comply with government and industry regulations, just initial where it says 'I'm probably a big idiot to be signing this!'"

"Fraud ..what fraud?... " SEC

"I'm sorry, ma'am, but your holding facility for children is not in accordance with Brussel's regulations."

'Before I announce the bonus schedulae for this fiscal year, let's pause and give thanks for our loyal ex-colleagues now serving with the S.E.C.'

The FDA studies 'Tobacco'.

He waited for the next wave of regulations to arrive.

'We're throwing out the old rules.'

"I've been working with pain-killers - anti-inflammatories, muscle relaxants..."

Bad news, our men's aftershave has just been listed as an environmental hazard.

"You'll have to wait. Mr. IRS is in there now."

"It's the new regulatory body" 'Ofsick'

"It's from young Joe. He's in hot water with someone named Joycelyn Elders."

Ponzi Schemes: Don't worry - the Securities and Exchange Commission is watching us closely.

Consumer Protection Agency/Manufacturer Protection Agency

"Rest assured, we will be working hard to stop the onslaught of scammers and the scourge of robocalls..."

"Nothing is illegal if a hundred businessmen decide to do it."

"There - a tree! Now let's hear the environment people complain."

"If they can rig emissions tests, why can't they fake crash tests too?"

"Simplified application form? . . . This IS the simplified application form!"

'Don't look a gift horse in the mouth.'

No smoking.

'Well people who said the SRA wasn't up to the job are going to have to eat their words now.'

Floor Wet When Slippery

"The health inspector said our water had an excess of iron."

Ofwat Sewage Scrutiny

"I thought he would run all sorts of scientific tests."

Nuisance Liquor Stores

Late Stage Capitalism and the Biosphere Engage in Some Meaningful Dialogue...

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."