Consumer Safety Pillows

'Oh my gosh, weapons of mass destruction!"

New for Christmas-'L'il Product Tester'

Lemonade Stand with Disclaimer: 'No animals were harmed during the making of this lemonade.'

'Again a guy drowned with a lead contaminated doll made in China...'

Clyde thought “Atomic Sparklers” was just an ad gimmick

"He's the chief watchdog, who watches over all the other watchdogs—but this must be his night off."

"This is a neighbourhood vigilante area."

Excess Baggage: Fans of 'Deregulation' and the 'Free Market' probably have not had to buy a plane ticket recently.

'It's good to see that you have a smoke detector...'

"I know it looks fine, but let's get an engineer's report and a termite inspection just to be on the safe side."

"Your mom's not protesting sex and violence on TV...she's taking a stand against those early Christmas ads..."

'I'd like to return this shredder.'

'A-1 security from crime ... but can't stand the isolation.'

The economy doctor

'Throw it out. . . we never use it, unless you can think of someone that might need it.'

"I think he's outgrown the baby gate."

"Peter quickly learns the limitations of his new hamster ball."

"I want a refund on this computer. It's user hostile!"

Consumer Protection Agency/Manufacturer Protection Agency

'All these new regulations will totally alter the way we screw the consumer.'

Man carrying crates of eggs about to step on sleeping dog.

Santa hosing the Chimney.

'You can't beat the old style security systems!'

'New normal' family life

'I know the fire's in the kitchen, but that program just irks the hell out of me.'

"He's refusing to pay the inflationary bits"

"Maybe this is insignificant, what with everything going on in the world, but do we have a fire extinguisher?"

'Goodnight honey... did you remember to unplug the baby?'

'You said to call back if the gas problem got worse.'

Contaminated eggs? No problem at all!

"...and I can assure you that our price increases will be more competitive than those of other providers."

"Did we turn off the stove?"

"Rest assured, we will be working hard to stop the onslaught of scammers and the scourge of robocalls..."

'I told you he was smart. He turned a potential hazard into a plaything.'

'Is your house baby-proofed?'