Consumer Safety Gifts

'Oh my gosh, weapons of mass destruction!"

New for Christmas-'L'il Product Tester'

Lemonade Stand with Disclaimer: 'No animals were harmed during the making of this lemonade.'

'Again a guy drowned with a lead contaminated doll made in China...'

Clyde thought “Atomic Sparklers” was just an ad gimmick

"He's the chief watchdog, who watches over all the other watchdogs—but this must be his night off."

"This is a neighbourhood vigilante area."

Excess Baggage: Fans of 'Deregulation' and the 'Free Market' probably have not had to buy a plane ticket recently.

'It's good to see that you have a smoke detector...'

"Your mom's not protesting sex and violence on TV...she's taking a stand against those early Christmas ads..."

"I know it looks fine, but let's get an engineer's report and a termite inspection just to be on the safe side."

'I'd like to return this shredder.'

'A-1 security from crime ... but can't stand the isolation.'

'Throw it out. . . we never use it, unless you can think of someone that might need it.'

Consumer Protection Agency/Manufacturer Protection Agency

"Peter quickly learns the limitations of his new hamster ball."

The economy doctor

"I think he's outgrown the baby gate."

"Okay, what's your next, more expensive security system?"

"I want a refund on this computer. It's user hostile!"

'All these new regulations will totally alter the way we screw the consumer.'

Man carrying crates of eggs about to step on sleeping dog.

Santa hosing the Chimney.

'You can't beat the old style security systems!'

'New normal' family life

'I know the fire's in the kitchen, but that program just irks the hell out of me.'

"Maybe this is insignificant, what with everything going on in the world, but do we have a fire extinguisher?"

"Let's pick up our cars now, 'kay Puddin'?"

"He's refusing to pay the inflationary bits"

'Goodnight honey... did you remember to unplug the baby?'

'You said to call back if the gas problem got worse.'

"...and I can assure you that our price increases will be more competitive than those of other providers."

Contaminated eggs? No problem at all!

'I told you he was smart. He turned a potential hazard into a plaything.'

'Well those stair gates were a complete waste of money'