Customer Safety Gifts

"Of course our products are absolutely safe!

A young Don King

'I don't want him experiencing anything until I've totally checked it out.'

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

'Well, now that I know he's the owner's son, yes, he's the best damned wine steward I've ever seen.'

"They're having a fight over how best to handle client conflict."

Pool attached to child's bed.

Clyde thought “Atomic Sparklers” was just an ad gimmick

"Why won't you teach us how to handle complaints?"

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

"And you're certain these are accidents?"

"Now that's what I call customer service!"

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

"Does knowing you're being watched on a baby monitor keep you out of mischief?"

"Who's taking my order—the committee of the whole, or is there a liaison for decaf?"

"Chaplain, the lord should put warning labels on some of his creations."

Unpopular Street Signs: Road Work Behind, Speed Jump Ahead, Good Luck, Slow Distracted Adults.

'Dewey! Grandpa's stuck again. Give him a couple of whacks upside the head.'

Man using to much bug spray

"He's the chief watchdog, who watches over all the other watchdogs—but this must be his night off."

'I guess my brain just started to really care about itself.'

Child about to jump off ironing board into bath.

I'd like to take this menu and shove it where the sun don't shine. But I'll settle for the omelette & hash browns...

Kangaroo mom to child, 'We're not going anywhere until you buckle-up, young man.'

"It's not the first time he'd been warned about wearing a long tie when leaning over the shredder."

"Philosophy Department. Why may I direct your call?"

On the brink.

"Jimmy, I want you to meet our new safety officer."

"Don't you just hate restaurants that make you feel rushed?"

'Hon? Did your phone go dead? Hello?'

'You're right. Our old safety files have become a safety concern.'

Baby on board.

"Could you all please pay attention while I go through the emergency procedure. . ."

Caution: Driver Watching "Hard Copy"