Office Safety Gifts

"We offer a comprehensive benefits plan that covers everything from minor cuts to nasty scrapes."

Office Safety - Fire Escape Practice.

"Now what was that I was meant to report...something about a loose carpet?"

"He wasn't specific. His last message just said, play it safe - whatever that means."

"I've finished the health and safety check. The office pencil has been blunted and locked in the safe and I've dampened the stationery to avoid paper cuts."

Man getting tie caught in shredder.

Clyde thought “Atomic Sparklers” was just an ad gimmick

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

"And you're certain these are accidents?"

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

'Dewey! Grandpa's stuck again. Give him a couple of whacks upside the head.'

"Chaplain, the lord should put warning labels on some of his creations."

Man using to much bug spray

Unpopular Street Signs: Road Work Behind, Speed Jump Ahead, Good Luck, Slow Distracted Adults.

'I guess my brain just started to really care about itself.'

Caution: Driver Watching "Hard Copy"

Kangaroo mom to child, 'We're not going anywhere until you buckle-up, young man.'

'You're right. Our old safety files have become a safety concern.'

On the brink.

"Did you bring any protection with you?"

'Hon? Did your phone go dead? Hello?'

"Jimmy, I want you to meet our new safety officer."

"Could you all please pay attention while I go through the emergency procedure. . ."

"It's not the first time he'd been warned about wearing a long tie when leaning over the shredder."

'I'm afraid that serves you right for not wearing your safety goggles!'

'Well, you got the dog to protect you against criminals. Perhaps now you'll have to hire a criminal to protect you from the dog.'

Two people in hazmat suits lie in bed

'It was going well - until his power suit short-circuited.'

"I suppose you want the rest of the day off!"

"I've had it with the helmet mandates."

"We need a union!'

"They retired me. Just like that. Seems I'm no good over 55 mph anymore." "How does that make you feel?" "Like I want to bash my head against a wall!"

"Why don't you start with tennis balls?!"

'No, this metal stress can't be fixed with liberal doses of antidepressants.'

'I'm lost, did you happen to see a lady without a boy like me ?'