Occupational Safety Gifts

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

Man tripping over a cable at a safety awards night.

'You didn't breathe on your way up here did you?'

'I'm glad you two have finally met.'

'If only someone had listened when Harry complained about the flourescent lighting!'

Health and Safety Guidelines.

"...And now step 2 disconnect power before plugging in..."

"Dudley, we have to stop meeting like this - It's against safety procedures!"

"Fifty quid for a high visibility jacket? Why, that's day-glo robbery."

'The industrial safety inspector? Are you kidding me?? He's there, right behind me!'

". . . These photographs, which I will enter as exhibits A, B and C, clearly show the abuse and anguish that my client has endured at the hands of his employer..."

"They never told us what carrying twenty times our own weight would do to our knees."

"OSHA is going to hear about this!"

"That explains why Larry is the most confident employee in our company!"

Safety First at a Refinery

Occupational Safety and Health Administration'

Great training promotes a safer working environment.

'It states here you filed an accident claim everyday at your other job.'

'This ladder is rotten!'

'One question before I take the job...is this a safe workplace?'

'I'm afraid that serves you right for not wearing your safety goggles!'

'Sorry boss, I've decided to live dangerously and become a shelf filler.'

"I see you do all your own stunts."

"This accident report must be really old, unless he really was 'attacked by ye wilde boare' in the cold meats aisle."

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

"Jimmy, I want you to meet our new safety officer."

"It's not the first time he'd been warned about wearing a long tie when leaning over the shredder."

'You're right. Our old safety files have become a safety concern.'

"Well, all the symptoms of just another typical case of burnout, I'm afraid."

"We need a union!'

"I suppose you want the rest of the day off!"

Time Out For Teddy

'Yeah, I slipped on a banana skin too...'

The Dangers of National Safety Week.

'No days off, no paid overtime, no benefits...this job is killing me!'