Office Safety Savant Gifts

STRIP *Community Care * Imaginative use of equipment

'Sorry, suffering from burnout return in a week.'

'Wake me up when he doesn't use a buzzword.'

"I feel your pain."

"Jimmy, I want you to meet our new safety officer."

'Your main goal in this job is getting out alive.'

A man is in an office, behind him is a glass box containing a glass and a bottle, there is a sign saying 'in case of emergency'

"Wow - you say you're a workaholic, but your office says it's time for your vacation!"

"You're doing great, only thirty-one more years to go."

"We should have taken the cubicles."

'You can't fire me! -- This is a right-to-work state!'

"Everyone seek higher ground! The paperwork is rising to a dangerous level."

"I may be incompetent. But, if you fire me there'll be no one who knows less about this company than you."

Get Well Soon and Hurry Back to the Office. . . Before Sharks Eat Your Job

Office Weather

Getting through the week.

"Miss Jones! Clear my schedule until I get this sorted out!"

"Granberry, you're about to suffer a near-death experience!"

"When everyone's an 800 pound gorilla, nobody's an 800 pound gorilla.".

Twisted Peel works overtime.

'Chin up, Simpson, it's for the good of the firm.'

"I don't understand, having a pulmonary embolism isn't on his to do list!"

Exhausted employee

"I hate when she drags herself to work. Am I supposed to feel guilty?"

"I am totally ready for this presentation."

"I'm putting you in charge of this project because you're already miserable."

"You've seen Grace under pressure. Here's Grace after the pressure is off."

"Leadership is all about making sacrifices and you are OURS!"

'Mr Bluebeard is our safety officer.'

'Harlow, do you wnat to be part of the problem or part of the coverup?'

'I have your MRI results. Half your brain is clogged with passwords and the other half is clogged with user names.'

Jenkins here has been with the firm the longest,

"I'm not worried because somehow all this is your fault."

"I should've expected this when my boss said I was moving up."

"A word of advice: Never marry your own secretary."