Security Savant Gifts

'I have your MRI results. Half your brain is clogged with passwords and the other half is clogged with user names.'

"Welcome to the team, Mr Ware. What did you say your first name was?"

"You think they all look like security risks."

"You haven't seen security till you've seen it on the iPad 2."

'Actually, I'm working on a new computer password.'

"I tried using the garage code to get into the computer. I tried using the computer password to get into my phone. I tried using the phone password to get into the garage..."

"Make up your mind. Do you want to be my password or my security question?"

"No, I didn't ask you to eat it because it's top secret. I just can't find my waste paper bin."

"I'm very security conscious. I'd like my picture printed on my checks."

"Sorry I'm late. I forgot the PIN number I need to get my brain going."

"Give me a good grade and years from now you'll be the favorite teacher I'll use to answer a security questions."

'Back in half an hour - make sure the firewall doesn't go out.'

Doorman for the Three Little Pigs

'I used to be a burglar before I got this job selling security alarms.'

Kennel security

"It's a blue Vauxhall with a magnetic 'Neighborhood Crime Watch' sign."

A locksmith's door has a sign, 'Out to Latch.'

"This one is for hacking into our enemy's hacks."

'Which 'win' is ours? Because the one on the left looks bigger.'

"Once I connect with my server over there, I can turn my lamp on and off."

Bullseye!

'With the increase in hacking, the I.T. department has proposed sealing all of our data in blister packs.'

TV-Man

"Jimmy, I want you to meet our new safety officer."

'Now I know why the strategy guide warned against entering the 5th stage. Awesome!'

'It seems to work, I couldn't afford a blackberry!'

Where was I?

"Yes, it's a safe: I was fed up with my winter provisions being raided by freeloaders!"

"Maybe we should have another look at the 'business as usual' idea."

'Stay with me now, people, because in Step C, things get a bit delicate.'

'Can I download that as a PDF?'

All the apps hidden within a phone

Decision Making Block

'So far, sir, we've rejected plans A,B, C, D, E, F, and right now we're evaluating'G'.'

Latest Greatest Fastest Computer...versus Good Enough.