Confusing Situations Gifts

'Could you help me? My parents are lost.'

"Honestly, I didn't know your wife was in the shower."

'How many blummin' shades of black ARE there?'

"Pardon, I should have been more specific...is everything all right with THE MEAL?"

'Wrong number. Sorry, I dialled my salary by mistake.'

Philosophers studying meta-physical chemistry.

Support Group for the Directionally Challenged.

'He thinks we're watering down the cement.'

'You'll need a better credit rating before we can give you a credit card?'

'Have you noticed it, too?'

'Brian hated his long legs and dinner parties'

'Boy...it can be awkward meeting the parents for the first time.'

'I'm a herbologist. I study this guy.'

'Sorry! I thought nobody would notice.'

'I just don't think it appropriate to have your old divorce lawyer as your best man.'

"We can still be friends, right?"

Call Center Agents Should Be Able To Apologize And To Admit Mistakes.

"Don't exhale while you're in there - he has a thing about germs."

'Darling, I've brought mom round for tea! I hope it won't spoil my surprise!'

'Just so i'll know you can't resuscitate a grape-nut, right?'

"There was no large metal object in your rib cage after all. Turns out I was just seeing this old-timey doctor thing on my forehead."

'Doing a degree? No, I'm trying to book a train ticket.'

'It's never an easy decision, but if you're looking for something economical, why don't you take a look at out value menu-er...Value model?'

Window cleaner taking ladder out from under his colleague.

"Wait a minute! I just robbed my own house!"

"Daddy always begged me not to marry a cactus farmer!"

"We're in our lab coats. Now what?"

Golfer on Football Pitch

'It was identity theft by my body double!'

"Up, down or bite your face off?"

"I wonder if I should tell him he's a transvestite!?"

In the embarrassment cemetery

'I can't think of a polite way to ask Joaquin Phoenix to get off of our couch.'