Workplace Situations Gifts

'A raise? Huh! He won't even throw me a bone!'

"You're fired."

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

"I don't want a G.O.A.T, I want a S.C.A.P.E.G.O.A.T."

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

"I realize we had to liquidate some assets, but don't you think I'd be more productive if I had a desk?"

'What's wrong now?'

'Germaine, what did you do with my desk?'

'It's a lateral move, you'll now be getting all of Kramer's work too.'

"There are no big jobs, only small machines."

"I was hoping there'd be no meetings here."

"Lost my job. But I'm pretty sure it's around here somewhere."

'So what do you think of my report, sir?'

"Hiring someone to replace me and then expecting me to train him just doesn't sit well with me."

National Boss Monument.

"Wake up Thomas, it's not 2020. There's no Zoom camera to turn off to hide yourself."

'Your decade of experience is, unfortunately, from the wrong decade.'

'Yes, can I help you?'

'You'll get five paid sick days, plus an additional two when you're shedding your skin.'

'Bit of a staffing problem, Boss. We haven't got any left.'

"The boss likes people with strong convictions. You're hired."

'We feel it's very important to provide our employees with an extremely comfortable work-place environment. Primarily because we don't allow them to ever go home.'

"You're hired. Now, I'll show you your desk, the break room, and the dented wall you're allowed to beat your head against."

"Yes, social media's a great way to express your opinions - shame you feel 'ignored and unappreciated by an aloof, faceless boss' - but that's because I haven't a clue who you are or what you do around here!"

HR - Helping Relationships

"Good morning Rudy. I suppose you're wondering why I've summond you....It's time for your annual performance review...."

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

'Frankly, our dental plan bites.'

"We should have taken the cubicles."

"He was orphaned at an early age and raised by two giant moths."

Torn-Off Mouse.

'Sorry, I can't give you a raise. However, I can offer you a splendid opportunity to share the profits.'

Concerned that she would be passed over for a promotion if management knew she was pregnant, Donna concealed the fact.