Quirky Workplace Situations Gifts

"Don't exhale while you're in there - he has a thing about germs."

'That large, rolled up newspaper is a reminder - mess up in this office and you'll pay the price.'

Well, I see Wilcox is finally using his head...as a paperweight!

"He was orphaned at an early age and raised by two giant moths."

"Stan, it's come to my attention that you have been creeping people out at work."

'Ms. Moffit, please inform the staff that I have morphed and send in that plump young marketing trainee.'

"When all else fails, blow darts still get their attention."

"Jenkins, come in and pull up a bean bag."

'I don't know what he's doing or why he's doing it, but by golly, I love his work ethic.'

"Ah, Stevens—sit anywhere."

I was hoping you might convince him by demonstrating the quality of the product.

"Just great...on my first day on the job."

Self-Employment

'Your loyalty to the company is exemplary, Potter, but we'll have to let you go if you can't stop chewing up the conference room furniture!'

'...How can I trust you to handle multimillion-dollar accounts if you can't even spin a basketball on your fingertip?'

Sleeping at the computer.

'Very good job! I would like to show my appreciation in a practical way...Hip,hip hooray!'

Exciting suggestion in 'suggestion box'.

'Bancroft, it's time to pay the salesmen their bonuses. Would you please stop at the butchers' shop and get a few pounds of raw meat?'

Dexter Flynn, Taxidermy Attorney.

"As always he found a way to duck out of working overtime!"

"This position may call for some occasional plumbing."

'One small point,Perkins-we don't STAMP on the sell-by dates here!'

"Thanks, but, uh, I think I'll take the stairs today."

Fun at the Office # 729: MEMO FANATICS IN THE HALL

"This one is less distracting."

"Eating the mistakes is a tough job, but somebody has to do it."

'It's saving us a fortune on retirement costs.'

'Now, now, Mancini, we all have to start somewhere!'

"They say every team has a member who is suffering from mental health issues. Not this team eh?!"

"This is the software for my head."

"Woodpecker gets an office job."

I'm sorry. I can't find him. I've looked in all the usual hiding places.