Misunderstanding Scenarios Gifts

"Honestly, I didn't know your wife was in the shower."

Worry tank

'This will be great for chase scenes.'

'Can I call you back, Frank? A giant maggot is eating my desk, people are shooting at me and my hair is on fire.'

'The school. My counselor told me to make the most of it...'

'Remember you told me to be friendly to your boss.'

'Silly me. I thought his 'Catch and Release' bumper sticker referred to his philosophy on trout fishing.'

"I always wondered who got my transplant."

'Did anyone hand in a mature stilton last week?'

The Consequences of an Interrupted Shower.

"But, for ten million bucks, would you lick it?"

Spiderman car window cleaner

Kate's Cat Kennel

"Online I said I was 'blond and curvy', I didn't say I was a woman!"

'It's for you.'

Elephant Leak

A shark swims into a desert island.

'Mrs. Peterson. . . Sgt. O'Leary here, I'm afraid there's been an accident and your husband is in a comma.'

That's a silly question. What does it LOOK like I'm doing?'

'Great team. Brilliant coach. No ball handler...'

'Whose idea was it to open an uphill skiing course?'

'...Every time he goes on the track we have to notify air traffic control.'

'...and then, when I asked if I could see her home, she showed me a photograph of her house.'

"Lasagna anyone?"

'I'm divorcing you...and I want custody of the squids.'

'You idiot, I said 'ark', not 'park'.'

'I sincerely thank you for your concern, but I'm only setting up a swing.'

Man looking very nervous in an inflatable boat with a porcupine.

The Awful Lawfuls Chapter 5

"If I don't escape now, I'm toast!"

The Chicken's Revenge.

"They're about this big."

Dream Zoom

"Will you pull your stupid pants up? This is a RETINAL scanner you idiot."

'He must be pleased with me. He's wagging his finger.'