Silly Situations Gifts

"Daddy always begged me not to marry a cactus farmer!"

"Wait a minute! I just robbed my own house!"

'This will be great for chase scenes.'

'Can I call you back, Frank? A giant maggot is eating my desk, people are shooting at me and my hair is on fire.'

A Snowman falls down drunk outside a bar.

Our founder: Custard pies Ltd.

"I just saw some confused old goat pee all over the bathroom floor." "That was a mirror. And that wasn't the bathroom."

'He thinks we're watering down the cement.'

'It's for you.'

Adoption centre nurse accepting a bribe from a pack of wolves

That's a silly question. What does it LOOK like I'm doing?'

'Sorry! I thought nobody would notice.'

Cake Shop: Parking Meter

Eskimo fishing.

Blind dog.

'...Every time he goes on the track we have to notify air traffic control.'

"Come on Ed! Cheer up! Look! Worm Attack! Arrahhh!"

Call Center Agents Should Be Able To Apologize And To Admit Mistakes.

'Just so i'll know you can't resuscitate a grape-nut, right?'

"Gesundheit."

Dunk Mosquito

"Up, down or bite your face off?"

"If I don't escape now, I'm toast!"

'What is it now, Dennis...can't you see I'm busy?'

'I didn't hear you drive up, Doc.'

Gag pitchforks.

Window cleaner taking ladder out from under his colleague.

Golfer on Football Pitch

'It was identity theft by my body double!'

'Warm a chair...swill coffee...thumb through catalogues and surf the Internet... By golly, Ted, he's RIGHT. They're all in his job description!'

'Hand over all your money or the toaster gets it!'

"His dentures keep slipping."

The hearse was a write-off. But at least no one was killed. Again.

'Somehow Betty escaped the Kitchen and ran to warn the others - no one would listen.'

'That's 84 in a row! A new record!'