Confused Communicators Gifts

'I need a lot of understanding.' - 'Say what?'

Hiding the electronics.

"So tell me, Wallace. Has someone gobbled up my Viagra again?" "No. Wait. I thought they were delicious candy mints!"

"When you promised me 'a set of wheels', I assumed a company car."

'Wrong number. Sorry, I dialled my salary by mistake.'

'Of course I can spell -- I just can't spell conventionally.'

"Excuse me, but it's GREG, Greg Chalmers."

"What's this, a confession written in code. . .?"

"If you want me to ask him that you'll have to wait until after the watershed."

"When you said you were taking me south on vacation I assumed you meant to the tropics."

'Mr. Watson?.. Alexander Graham Bell here. I'm a first-time caller...'

"We're having some marital issues... we hardly talk anymore!"

"Exhaustive research has determined that cats don't like baby talk."

"...But I don't want to get in the back Norma, I want to stay in the front with you"

Aliens man telephone store named ET&T Phones.

"I had a dream that I was awake and trying to sleep and now I don't know what's going on."

Shoot...not literally, of course.

"Just wanted to make sure you said no mayo that way I'll know to give you extra."

'Chapman, you misunderstood what I said about the Clark account. I said mull it over.'

Dyslexic Doomsayers.

'Could you help me? My parents are lost.'

'I did not call you a 'bar fly'! I said; 'I'll be back, briefly'.'

"We can still be friends, right?"

"I'm not sure you see my point of view..." "From down here I'd say that's probably true!"

"I said, you have a suppository in your ear so I think I know where your hearing aid is."

'I said Mascarpone not Mask A Pony!'

'We can mail these thank you cards now that I've forged your name.'

Tongue Tied.

"The subject on the e-mail is 'Woof" any idea who it's from?"

"The sign said 'Home-Style Cooking.'"