Communication Confusion Enthusiast Gifts

What part of "yes" don't you understand? ? ?

Campaign for Plain English

'The meaning of communinication is the response we get'

"I can't decide if we're good people who are bad at communicating, or monsters who communicate perfectly."

This Message Has No Content

"And do you, Deborah Tannen, think they know what they're talking about?"

"You've got to learn about verbs. How else are you going to verbalize your feelings?

'Bob, I know you're a Mockingbird, but a few compliments every now and then would greatly help your marriage...'

"I don't believe I've missed a single sign since you made the switch to Power Point."

"Hello? Speaking, not listening."

Dialogue

She - Interpreter - He.

'I'm majoring in communication and minoring in pizza delivery - What about you?'

"I love it when you use your 'All Things Considered' voice."

Ruddy bloggers!

'Why don't you try seeing it from your point of view?'

With the popularity of spell-checkers, many people are turning to the new speech-checkers.

"Help! I'm surrounded by idiots."

'The usual ‘nod, nod, wink, wink' will do, Walter. We don't need the eyebrow twitch and nostril flares.'

"Oh! It's you! I was expecting the machine."

"It probably got lost in the voice mail."

"Hi, you've reached Susan's desk. I am monotasking right now, so I'll call you back it's the phone's turn again. Beep!"

Twitter censorship

"When we first started seeing each other, we would always use the same word for snow."

On-the-job creativity may go unrewarded an may even create consternation among co-workers.

"I feel like I don’t even know my own husband ... and it’s driving me wild!"

My wife's been talking to the skin I shed for over an hour.

'Your wife says you act like a fool. I thought you said she never pays attention to you.'

"Miss Duxbury, put me through to someone."

Birds on a wire, "Bernie?...Oh he's gone cable!"

Bill was so determined to Twitter no one dared tell him he couldn't do it with a calculator.

"I'm a great ... umm... like ... umm... like... umm ... communicator."

Telephone message - 'This is a recording. If you'd like to speak to a real live human being, forgetaboutit.

'We finally learned to communicate, and he's worse than I thought he was!

The Love Psychologists