Awkward Communicator Gifts

"I am a stranger to your planet...."

Very Difficult Conversations

"Well, I had 'the talk' with him.

'The World will speak hip-hop tomorrow.'

What price beauty?

"I speak Latin, you know."

'Modern romance'

School nativity. Boy says: 'If you have been affected by any of the issues raised in this drama ...'

~ S.O.S.

You make me feel more like a veterinarian than a psychiatrist, Al. Why is that, Dr. Kapuchnik? Because you're one sick puppy.

'You know me, I'm a problem solver. I listen. I flirt with understanding. I move on.'

"Hey, it's me. I just sent you a text message responding to your e-mail saying that I should IM you."

'Here goes the second bottle of champagne... I think it would be fair of You to tell me what are my chances so I know whether to order another bottle or not...'

'Of course I can spell -- I just can't spell conventionally.'

"Ya know, boys and girls studying alone like this is strictly forbidden in Iran."

"I see that, but can you play well with others?"

Have a nice day, if you are already having a nice day please disregard this notice. (reading letter at mailbox)

"Dating advice from your old man? Ew, weird. Instead, let's ask Stinky Rick."

'I'm not sure I want to see you again, but just in case, I've backed you up on a flash drive.'

Hugs and knucklebumps don't mix.

"Tell me about yourself... what you do, where you live, the last four digits of your social security number..."

Send. End.

"Yes I did want out contract design to be more progressive and visual, but this is a little too progressive."

'She lithpth!'

"Does this mean I have to talk to someone I don't know?"

"Nurse, can you send in the interpreter for Senora Delgado?"

'Bill, I'm sorry to hear about your going into the hospital. Is it a MALE problem?'

"Try to smile a bit louder."

People talking through a stethoscope.

'See, I told you I can text and chew gum at the same time.'

"Sometimes I just enjoy listening to some of my favorite old messages."

"I was rather hoping you'd be using incisive rebuttals based on an eclectic knowledge of the subject area!"

"This is the right side of the brain calling the left side of the brain. Come in, left side..."

"I'm not used to communicating face-to-face. Can we conduct this interview via text?"

'It's not you it's me not liking you.'