Confession Enthusiast Gifts

"I write mostly confessional non-fiction."

'Watch out for her. She lets you do all the talking.'

"He knows what you did in Las Vegas."

'Confessing your sins in a folk ballad was an interesting idea, Larry, but I'm afraid your singing has forced me to add one more sin to your list!'

'Just cut to the good stuff, my child.'

"Of course, my confessions probably aren't nearly as interesting as yours."

Mother using converted wardrobe as confessional for son.

Tell me about it--last night I ate a whole sleeve of Communion wafers.

'We've put Father O'Brien in charge of minor sins.'

Admitting: 'I'm not fond of my mother-in-law. I don't like my wife's meatloaf. Ummm, oh my neighbor really bugs me, ummmm....'

'Bless me, Father, for I have turned 'Safesearch' off.'

Priest says to man in confessional: 'Blah-de-blah ... come on, get to the good stuff!'

'If anyone's looking for me, I'll be in here living vicariously.'

'I'll be seeing you again right after our Quarterly Earnings Report.'

"You're here to discuss sin, aren't you, sir?"

'Thanks for telling me you eat too much fat, but it's not that kind of admissions.'

Even Bob's deathbed confession was lame.

Confession plugged up to an amp.

'You think you've got problems-I suffer from claustrophobia !'

The Confessional: a bored priest listens to a confession.

'So last night, did you tell him straight out you love him?'

'Idiot.'

Admissions lady: 'I don't take care of myself like I should ... my negligence probably killed a guy once ... I'm secretly attracted to you ...'

This Saturday 10:30 Confessions of a Window Cleaner, Doctor, Nurse, Policeman, Shop Worker, Lollipop Lady, Butcher, Baker, Housewife, Schoolboy...

Confessing to a smoking priest about cigarettes.

Taxicab confession: 'Thanks for the ride. I have no money.'

"I know you said it's wrong to covet a neighbour's wife but what about another man's wife who lives the other side of town?"

Diet Confession

"Before we begin with your confession, my son, you have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used ..."

"What's this, a confession written in code. . .?"

True confession

"I thought I'd gotten away with it, but with technology's advancements it's only a matter of time before they find out about that term paper I plagiarized."

"Look, they get really mad when I dig up the garden, so, can you please sign this statutory declaration..."

"Yes, your honor. I am the priest who has taken your confessions since you were a child."

'Next time you hear confession from that barmaid say, Tut-tut not COR.'