Confession Fan Gifts

'Well, for the sake of argument, just pretend you've done something wicked.'

A drunken night and a bad decision drastically alters the course of Mike's life.

"Clark...is there something you'd like to tell me?"

"So Father, from your sharp intake of breath, I take it that I have your full attention?"

"Hi, I'm Mike and my 20 year old marriage to Debby has been a sham, I'm currently having an affair with David who works behind the bar."

Priest's 'To do' list.

True confessions.

"Believe me when I tell you that I'm not that honest."

Tell me about it--last night I ate a whole sleeve of Communion wafers.

'Father James, I slept with Father Henry from next parish... Is that a sin?' - 'Of course!! You belong to my parish!'

'Someday I'm going to tell you all of the things I've done right.'

"The truth serum made you say some very hurtful things."

'Next time you hear confession from that barmaid say, Tut-tut not COR.'

'I'll tell her all about this when she gets home.'

Admissions lady: 'I don't take care of myself like I should ... my negligence probably killed a guy once ... I'm secretly attracted to you ...'

This Saturday 10:30 Confessions of a Window Cleaner, Doctor, Nurse, Policeman, Shop Worker, Lollipop Lady, Butcher, Baker, Housewife, Schoolboy...

'Don't get me wrong, the Church is glad to hear your confession of improper contributions, but only the I.R.S. can grant absolution.'

"Look, they get really mad when I dig up the garden, so, can you please sign this statutory declaration..."

Priests Play Good Priest, Bad Priest

'I've been disrespectful again, Dad.'

The Confessional: a bored priest listens to a confession.

Priest says to man in confessional: 'Blah-de-blah ... come on, get to the good stuff!'

"Say-y-y, this stuff could be made into a terrific mini-series."

Confession Ratings.

"What's this, a confession written in code. . .?"

"We always see a spike after April 15th."

True confession

"What a listener. My burden feels lighter already."

'You needn't worry about confidentiality. Your medical records were carefully transferred to computer and accidently trashed.'

'I often commit the sin of pride, Reverend. I imagine myself being googled.'

'I fancy you like mad, Miss Prentice.'

Confession plugged up to an amp.

"Awesome! I hope you don't mind me re-tweeting this sicko stuff."

"I am dyslexic, parked in a faculty space and wore my roommate's t-shirt."

'Okay! I did it! I robbed all those banks on the north end of town! Guilty as charged! Lock me up!'