Condiment Collectors Pillows

'I can never open those sachets of sauce.' (Thinks: I think she's falling for my saucy schmooze!'

Assault 'n' Vinegar

'If only I'd spent as much time on my investment portfolio as I did on my lolly mix when I was a kid.'

Flying sauces.

Man cooking a single sausage on a very large barbeque.

"Sis, my teacher said to list the four food groups. . . but I can only think of three. Cookies, candy and ice cream!"

Tabletop Theatre

"It's a recipe called no-cook fish chowder."

Old Spice

'Oops! It's usually the devil to get any to come out!'

Mayo-A-Mayo

"I don't bake, I don't cook, but I make one kick-ass vinaigrette."

'Tomato ketchup?' 'Well you wanted the house red.'

Play the Trick or Treat Game!

"This way I don't have to lug around that big bag."

A sick sandwich is in the hospital and is getting a transfusion on new Maya and Zesty Mustard.

"Ah — excellent catsup."

'I'VE GOT EYE CANDY!'

Jesus and the Peeps

'You've got to admit, Harvey, the barbecue sauce is REALLY hot down here!'

'Yes, Dear, they are very pretty shoes!'

'Your tomato ketchup is on it's way, Sir...'

'You can't call it a miracle drug just because you added miracle whip!'

'When I grow up, I want to be just like you.'

"Steroids."

Halloween.

Beating Dad at Chess.

"Can we have all of your candy, a dog biscuit and a smoke for my cat friend here?"

"I got a chocolate bar and gum!" "What the #!@* is 'CBD oil'?!"

"Sorry, honey, I used up all the sunblock. How 'bout we cover you in mayonnaise instead?"

'Well, fancy meeting you here.'