Condiment Collectors Gifts

'I can never open those sachets of sauce.' (Thinks: I think she's falling for my saucy schmooze!'

Boneheads! I never said I was bringing ten condiments!

Assault 'n' Vinegar

'If only I'd spent as much time on my investment portfolio as I did on my lolly mix when I was a kid.'

Flying sauces.

Man cooking a single sausage on a very large barbeque.

'Awesome mummy costume!' 'I'm a pirate! Some kids just TPed me...'

Tabletop Theatre

"Sis, my teacher said to list the four food groups. . . but I can only think of three. Cookies, candy and ice cream!"

I don't know what happened to the poor guy, but he's visibly shaken.

"It's a recipe called no-cook fish chowder."

Old Spice

'Tomato ketchup?' 'Well you wanted the house red.'

Mayo-A-Mayo

'Oops! It's usually the devil to get any to come out!'

"I don't bake, I don't cook, but I make one kick-ass vinaigrette."

"This way I don't have to lug around that big bag."

A sick sandwich is in the hospital and is getting a transfusion on new Maya and Zesty Mustard.

"Ah — excellent catsup."

Play the Trick or Treat Game!

Jesus and the Peeps

'You've got to admit, Harvey, the barbecue sauce is REALLY hot down here!'

ACME Condiments Quality Control. The boss wants to know if you're going to pass the ketchup.

'I'VE GOT EYE CANDY!'

'Yes, Dear, they are very pretty shoes!'

'Your tomato ketchup is on it's way, Sir...'

'You can't call it a miracle drug just because you added miracle whip!'

'When I grow up, I want to be just like you.'

"Steroids."

"Can we have all of your candy, a dog biscuit and a smoke for my cat friend here?"

Why Running Away Together Is Not a Very Good Idea...

Beating Dad at Chess.

"Sorry, honey, I used up all the sunblock. How 'bout we cover you in mayonnaise instead?"

"I got a chocolate bar and gum!" "What the #!@* is 'CBD oil'?!"

'Well, fancy meeting you here.'