Heir To Condiment Collection Pillows

'One day, my son, my entire collection of tomato sauce sachets will be yours'

Assault 'n' Vinegar

It turns out they don't go together so well,

Flying sauces.

Girl who can't cook meets guys who can't fix stuff.

Man cooking a single sausage on a very large barbeque.

"Bob takes everything with a grain of salt...and pepper...and garlic..."

Tabletop Theatre

'Mustard, ketchup and mayo are all nice and creamy smooth. Why isn't anything being done about relish?'

'Tomato ketchup?' 'Well you wanted the house red.'

"I don't bake, I don't cook, but I make one kick-ass vinaigrette."

'Oops! It's usually the devil to get any to come out!'

Mayo-A-Mayo

A sick sandwich is in the hospital and is getting a transfusion on new Maya and Zesty Mustard.

"Ah! The Amazing Mommy and her tray of condiments!"

"Ah — excellent catsup."

"Hey, this is just a bun!" "Help yourself to the mustard."

The sword in the all-natural impossible-to-stir peanut butter.

'You've got to admit, Harvey, the barbecue sauce is REALLY hot down here!'

'Your tomato ketchup is on it's way, Sir...'

"Do you have to put tomato sauce on everything?"

'You can't call it a miracle drug just because you added miracle whip!'

'When I grow up, I want to be just like you.'

Dijon Vu

Beating Dad at Chess.

"Sorry, honey, I used up all the sunblock. How 'bout we cover you in mayonnaise instead?"

'Well, fancy meeting you here.'

'I'm just not keen.'

'Don't overdo the mustard, sir -- we're trying to control costs around here.'

'What have you got?'

"Chef keeps the secrets of his sauces close to his chest"

"I wish I was special."