Compulsive Joker Pillows

"You never laugh at my jokes... "

"Couldn't you have just laughed instead of spelling 'LOL' in your alphabet soup?"

Fittd shēt

'Okay, Mom. I'm sorry I re-gifted one of the kidneys you gave me.'

'You can come out, Marmaduke. I was just kidding about putting lipstick on you.'

Note Book

Prisoner still life painting.

"See how it feels"

"Harold, stop sucking in your stomach when the girls walk by. You're going to hurt yourself."

'Moses, you'd better be in that bathtub!!'

"Let's change table stakes to vacation days."

Adult Absence Notes.

"Right before I die I'm going to swallow a bag of popcorn kernels."

'I'm all tired out from creating - let's just use NATURAL selection from now on.'

Reflex Testing -"...and you're sure you can't feel it"

Gardener of the Year.

"I didn't waste lockdown. I did my own facelift."

Cricket with a hamster in a plastic ball.

"My art raises complex tissues."

"I don't know who hid it there but that one's got your name all over it."

A child plots to frighten his father with a fake shark fin.

'Please be quiet while the attempts to locate your head.'

Anger Management Class: Gone berserk, back in one hour.

'I've never felt so alive...'

Knight in the Elevator

Peculiar looking group of people talk about how strange they think the other guests at a public ball are

'Don't laugh - it paid out more than 18 grand last week.'

"I'm afraid you've got Sea Monkey pox."

A herd of sheep stand in a field; one sheep is wearing a t-shirt that reads "Staff".

"I started my vegetarianism for health reasons, then it became a moral choice, and now it's just to annoy people."

'I've got a strawberry birth mark.'

Free Hugs

'Selling my soul is out of the question, on the other hand, I may be amiable to entering some sort of leasing arrangement.'