Compulsive Joker Gifts

"You never laugh at my jokes... "

"Couldn't you have just laughed instead of spelling 'LOL' in your alphabet soup?"

"He was just hanging about in the shed, so I had him repurposed."

Devil's food cake/Angel's food cake. Delivery mix-up.

Fittd shēt

'Okay, Mom. I'm sorry I re-gifted one of the kidneys you gave me.'

Note Book

'You can come out, Marmaduke. I was just kidding about putting lipstick on you.'

Prisoner still life painting.

"See how it feels"

"Harold, stop sucking in your stomach when the girls walk by. You're going to hurt yourself."

'Moses, you'd better be in that bathtub!!'

"Right before I die I'm going to swallow a bag of popcorn kernels."

'I'm all tired out from creating - let's just use NATURAL selection from now on.'

Adult Absence Notes.

"Let's change table stakes to vacation days."

Reflex Testing -"...and you're sure you can't feel it"

Gardener of the Year.

"I didn't waste lockdown. I did my own facelift."

"I don't know who hid it there but that one's got your name all over it."

A child plots to frighten his father with a fake shark fin.

Anger Management Class: Gone berserk, back in one hour.

"My art raises complex tissues."

'Please be quiet while the attempts to locate your head.'

Cricket with a hamster in a plastic ball.

'I've never felt so alive...'

Peculiar looking group of people talk about how strange they think the other guests at a public ball are

A herd of sheep stand in a field; one sheep is wearing a t-shirt that reads "Staff".

'Don't laugh - it paid out more than 18 grand last week.'

Knight in the Elevator

"I'm afraid you've got Sea Monkey pox."

"I started my vegetarianism for health reasons, then it became a moral choice, and now it's just to annoy people."

'I've got a strawberry birth mark.'

Oh, please, Bob, I know when you've been snacking between meals.

Free Hugs