Complexity Decoder Gifts

Complexity Made Simple.

"The data looks good, sir, but the vibes are mucho heavioso."

'I know! It's what I had last night for dinner.'

What Guys Say and What They Mean,

'Very well, I'll introduce you. Ego, meet ID. Now get back to work.'

'You might show a little excitement at the figures, Johnson!'

Paw readings

DIY horror.

'Stocks shot up. . . no one on the committee could understand a word that Bernanke was saying.'

"The quicksand was corporate's idea. I wanted to fire you for going over my head. They wanted to send a message."

Information vs. confusion

'Sheisse ... What ein dream!' - Freud

"The deadline for compliance just kicked in."

"I dreamed last night that I was furious at you for charging me for missing last week's session. What do you think it means?"

'Decoding is often 1, 14, 20, 9, 3, 12, 9, 13, 1, 3, 20, 9, 3.'

'I heard it through the grapevine.'

Market Research - "I'm trying to remember to pick up a loaf of bread, but there's a 38% probability that I'll forget."

"The are 10 types of people in the world - those who understand binary and those who don't."

'I'll be right with you after I've checked my messages, dear...'

"Well, yes, I suppose I could explain the test results in 'plain English' — but then you'd know how sick you are."

"The doctors call it Polymyositis, but I call it 'Military Arthritis' because it comes with a lot of fatigue."

Chaos Theory: Only 6 More Days Until All Hell Breaks Loose!

"I had the strangest dream. I was suddenly in a room full of people, and I didn't have a stitch on."

Siggy

'It's this one here, that I don't understand.'

"You got my text... but did you get my subtext?"

'You needn't worry about confidentiality. Your medical records were carefully transferred to computer and accidently trashed.'

"Hey, got your message. Just wanted to let you know you spelled 'desperately' wrong."

'Baby and Child Care Guidelines'

"I just had a communications nightmare! I dreamt that the postal workers were on strike, the internet was down and someone had eaten the carrier pigeons!"

'Our techies assure us no one stole the data. There were no hackers involved. We just lost it, all by ourselves.'

'I think we're going to need an ANNOTATED edition.'

"This is my voice mail."

'I got rid of those funny little spots in front of my eyes. Now what's bugging me is a buzzing noise in my ears, like somebody sawing logs.'

Change Rooms.