Data Dilemma Decoder Gifts

'Our techies assure us no one stole the data. There were no hackers involved. We just lost it, all by ourselves.'

"The data looks good, sir, but the vibes are mucho heavioso."

'You might show a little excitement at the figures, Johnson!'

Complexity Made Simple.

'Stocks shot up. . . no one on the committee could understand a word that Bernanke was saying.'

Tech support...can I help you!

Information vs. confusion

The Eternal Question

"I'll give you a moment."

'Same problem every morning. What to wear..?'

'Your dilemma is fabulous. Imagine what a dramaturge could do with it.'

'I told him over and over again never to press 'delete' more than twice!'

Market Research - "I'm trying to remember to pick up a loaf of bread, but there's a 38% probability that I'll forget."

'We need a memory upgrade ourselves to remember all these passwords.'

"Well, yes, I suppose I could explain the test results in 'plain English' — but then you'd know how sick you are."

'Doing this with his e-mails made more impact than sending them.'

In a Quandary

'Darling you'll be so proud of me, I've just written my first email. Now I must rush to get it in the post.'

"The doctors call it Polymyositis, but I call it 'Military Arthritis' because it comes with a lot of fatigue."

Life irritates art

"If your computer crashes alone in a forest, and no one complains, does IT respond?"

"Hello? IT support? I think my hard drive is fragmented."

Mousetrap has captured the wrong type of mouse.

"Hold on, the puck is coming this way."

'...we were able to hide some rather significant losses.'

'You get one more try at logging in - After that, you have to all start all over with a whole new computer.'

'Doctor, I just can't seem to relate to my computer equipment these days.'

'You needn't worry about confidentiality. Your medical records were carefully transferred to computer and accidently trashed.'

Buttons read - OK/Not OK/I'm OK but I still want to cancel.

'Baby and Child Care Guidelines'

'Phew, now, where can i plug my mobile in?'

"The account number you entered on your keypad is incorrect. Your phone will self destruct in minus ten seconds."

A businessman suffering from data overload.

My dog ate my flash drive, and that's where I stored my homework.

Jesus forgets to save.