Digital Dilemma Decoder Gifts

'You needn't worry about confidentiality. Your medical records were carefully transferred to computer and accidently trashed.'

"The data looks good, sir, but the vibes are mucho heavioso."

'Very well, I'll introduce you. Ego, meet ID. Now get back to work.'

Paw readings

'You might show a little excitement at the figures, Johnson!'

'Stocks shot up. . . no one on the committee could understand a word that Bernanke was saying.'

Tech support...can I help you!

Information vs. confusion

The Eternal Question

'Sheisse ... What ein dream!' - Freud

"The deadline for compliance just kicked in."

"I'll give you a moment."

'Same problem every morning. What to wear..?'

"I dreamed last night that I was furious at you for charging me for missing last week's session. What do you think it means?"

'I told him over and over again never to press 'delete' more than twice!'

Market Research - "I'm trying to remember to pick up a loaf of bread, but there's a 38% probability that I'll forget."

"They say it's the first sign of aging - not being able to keep up with new technology."

"Well, yes, I suppose I could explain the test results in 'plain English' — but then you'd know how sick you are."

'We need a memory upgrade ourselves to remember all these passwords.'

'Doing this with his e-mails made more impact than sending them.'

In a Quandary

'Darling you'll be so proud of me, I've just written my first email. Now I must rush to get it in the post.'

Mousetrap has captured the wrong type of mouse.

"Hold on, the puck is coming this way."

"I had the strangest dream. I was suddenly in a room full of people, and I didn't have a stitch on."

Siggy

Life irritates art

"If your computer crashes alone in a forest, and no one complains, does IT respond?"

"Hello? IT support? I think my hard drive is fragmented."

'You get one more try at logging in - After that, you have to all start all over with a whole new computer.'

"The doctors call it Polymyositis, but I call it 'Military Arthritis' because it comes with a lot of fatigue."

'Doctor, I just can't seem to relate to my computer equipment these days.'

Buttons read - OK/Not OK/I'm OK but I still want to cancel.

'Baby and Child Care Guidelines'

"I just had a communications nightmare! I dreamt that the postal workers were on strike, the internet was down and someone had eaten the carrier pigeons!"