Dating Dilemma Decoders Gifts

'I attract two types of guys: too forward or too backward.'

"The data looks good, sir, but the vibes are mucho heavioso."

"Sure, it's more efficient. But I still miss shooting the arrows."

Online Dating

Kissable Frogs in Your Area

'Of all the women who responded to my dating profile, you had the best emoticon.'

Sally and Doug had met online and were proving to be very compatible...

'I was attracted to you but your online photo, but now that I've seen you in High-Def...'

"Ooo... she sounds nice... 'I enjoy burying myself in the sand and sideways walks on the beach.'"

'You might show a little excitement at the figures, Johnson!'

"Don't take this the wrong way, Howard, but I'd like to go back to having an on-line relationship."

"That guy I just met is already texting me pictures of his plumage."

'Okay, but not in person -- I prefer on-line dating.'

'Stocks shot up. . . no one on the committee could understand a word that Bernanke was saying.'

'Take this stick-drive and open the file 'John's Emotional Baggage'. It'll save a lot of time.'

'It's hard finding a caring,sensitive and good looking man. Most of them already have boyfriends.'

Information vs. confusion

"Romeo,Romeo. Are you online,Romeo"

Financially Secure Romantic with sufficient fire in belly seeks damsel in distress...

'That must be my computer date.'

"What do you mean asking you to marry me via text wasn't romantic? Did you see the emoji with hearts for eyes I attached?"

We met online.

"So, do you walk the talk? Replete the tweet? Sext the text?"

Market Research - "I'm trying to remember to pick up a loaf of bread, but there's a 38% probability that I'll forget."

"AI can now scan dating sites and find your best match."

'We met online.'

Friday night was always sext night.

'I'm not sure I want to see you again, but just in case, I've backed you up on a flash drive.'

"Jeez, Alice, at least Google him first."

Online Romance

Cyber Love

"Before we take this any further, I'd like us to open about our internet history."

'We fed your application in, and the computer started leaking slime.'

"I must say, Doctor Jeckyll, that you bear little resemblance to your profile picture."

'Man... how I hate these pop-up's!'