Communications Technician Gifts

Fruit & Fiber Optics.

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

"And now here's Cathie with the hypothetical portion of the news."

"Damn - another letter to the editor."

"Nope, I still only have one bar."

Dialogue

'I solved the problem of dead zones on my cell phone with a personal satellite,'

"I was going to have my people call his people, but I’m pretty sure his people have Caller I.D."

"....So called 'fake news' is dangerous to our democracy!"

Information...political rhetoric

'I want to discuss communication clarity.'

"My Blackberry will get in touch with your Blackberry."

Torturing the English Language

It's not a bad planet -- Their talk shows make it seem a lot worse than it is.

"Well, after ad school, our Timothy made a 6-second Ad that nobody saw."

"'Grim Reapers' was considered too offensive, these days we're known as 'afterlife facilitators.'"

"Miss Duxbury, put me through to someone."

'My ring-tone's inaudible to humans.'

Birds on a wire, "Bernie?...Oh he's gone cable!"

"Here are today's leading factoids, and I'm Skip Shumaker, spoon-feeding them to you!"

'The doctors say I have a rare illness that turns people into birds - it's untweetable.'

'Who wants the talking stick?'

Data From a Truck

"We've been cancelled."

Messenger of the gods in the digital age.

Telephone line ends up buried in the ground with a headstone.

'OK, who moved the photocopier?'

'Yeah, you have lips like Mick Jagger ... ok, back to the teleconference.'

Crooked Hillary... Pig... Sad!... Not a Ten!...

"Der, dad. . . it's wireless!"

"I've no idea what he said...but he's so darned cute."

'Don't give up hope, Senator- We've worked out a plan to decrease your name recognition.'

'He's a media consultant. He came with the multimedia software package.'

Don't use live interviews as rehearsals-practise and prepare.

'We're looking for something that captures the zeitgeist of the nation...you know, the Great American Tweet.'