Telephone Technician Gifts

'Well, if I got the wrong number how come you answered the phone?'

Jack of all trades

The Computer Bore

"Where's the business end of this thing?"

"I give up. Where's the power button?"

Early cyborg.

Bob invents a device that electrically shocks anyone who calls between 11 p.m. and 7 a.m.

STRIP Hambone: Fix it yourself

The Not-So Smart Meter

Congratulations on your retirement!

'It's O.K. Charlie - you can relax. The T.V. repairman said, 'it can be fixed!''

"And this is one of our most poular models..."

High speed cinder block

STRIP Hambone: Early diesel run computer

Battery Lighthouse

Electronics: Nooks/Crannies

'Imagine if it was this simple to upgrade our staff.'

'Warning: Use of oversized apertures or antennas will void warranty,'

Fixing the TV.

"It's so nice to gather and enjoy a simple home-cooked meal together."

'So you still can't get a sound engineer then?'

'But I don't want to be able to turn on the toaster with the TV remote!'

'God?' Earth receives its first transmission from space.

"Since we installed the video surveillance system we're losing fewer socks."

'Okay, the motorized rocking chair could use an emergency off switch.'

'The boss said to get rid of all the pirated software before he returns, which will be in about five to ten years.'

Early Tech Support

"All right, pal, I'm just saying, that's what I'd do if it was my Large Hadron Collider."

'It just dawned on me that every time we make a phone call, it's a robocall.'

It's a deal. You give me five analysts, three pundits, seven technicians and a soothsayer. I give you six experts, five professors, four consultants and a prognosticator.

"I warned you not to use parts from the microwave oven, to mend the electric blanket...."

Open Mike for the spotlight operators

Lithium Fair

Swiss Army Phone

"Hmmm... Just what I figured: a universal remote!"